The wisdom of age? In 70+ years, you’d think I would have learned SOMETHING, eh?

To start off 2024 – some random life lessons from someone who can't even figure out how (and when) he got so old.

A somewhat random selection of whatever it is I’ve learned during my many years as a 16-hours-per-day-sentient being (if you include “dozing occasionally in front of the TV at night” as being “sentient”).

1. It’s not a bad thing to encourage children to develop at least a bit of a thick hide.

When I was a child [heh heh – yes, I know – starting a sentence like that is a surefire way to lose most readers] I – like every other kid I knew – was taught to respond to verbal insults by chanting “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”. And if I complained to my parents about something another kid said to me, I was often told “It’s the other kid who’s a jerk. Get over it”.

Was that a bad way to be raised? I’m not sure, but given the epidemic levels of mental health issues experienced by teens today, I suspect a lot of them would have benefitted from a little more “get over it” parenting and a lot less “words are violence” and “be ever vigilant for the possibility of a microaggression” influence.

Here’s a hard truth about life that anyone who has reached my age knows. Bad things happen in life, and a lot of people lead very difficult lives. There are parts of the world where child labor is common. We all experience real tragedies at times. People are sometimes deliberately mean and even cruel. So there is a lot of real unpleasantness to try to cope with. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to get through one’s day if a concern about minor slights is layered on top of that.

Here’s a general guide: If someone else says something to you and (1) it was clearly not intended to be an insult, and (2) you would not have even thought it was an insult before learning and reading about microaggressions – then maybe you would be a lot better off interpreting what was said in the most generous possible way. Because if you become emotionally distraught and feel personally insulted when someone who simply wants to get to know you better asks you “where are you from”, then what hope is there when you experience something truly emotionally hurtful or tragic?

As Chris Rock famously said “Anyone who says “words hurt” has never been punched in the face”. Along with “don’t sweat the small stuff”, and some understanding of the REAL life hardships that many people experience – valuable words to live by.

2. Don’t drive country roads in Ireland after sundown if you care about living another day.

If you are used to driving on American or Canadian roads and are considering a trip to Ireland – heed these words of warning. The country roads there are lined with stone fences, a two-lane country road is really just a lane and a half (at most) by American standards, tourist buses barrel along the roads at insane speeds, and people returning from a night at a pub are often driving somewhat (or very) drunk. I can’t imagine how there are any cars left in the country with an intact mirror on the passenger side. It’s a great country to visit, but night driving in the countryside is an exercise in sheer terror.

3. RG’s Razor: If people you usually disagree with about issues believe “X” – that in and of itself is not a very good reason for believing the opposite. And of course, there is the corollary –just because most people who are like you believe something does not make it true.

Attitudes toward teaching phonics is a good example. As I noted in an earlier posting, the teaching of phonics became associated with conservative political beliefs. In particular, evangelical Christians tend to be strong believers in the benefits of phonics instruction, while it has generally been political progressives who have supported other methods of teaching reading.

There are probably not many issues where my own attitudes and those of most evangelical Christians are in alignment. Abortion? Nope. Gun control? No. Prayer in schools? Definitely not. Donald Trump? You must be kidding. But the fact that evangelical Christians usually are in favor of the teaching of phonics is a very poor reason for opposing phonics instruction. The question should not be “What kinds of people generally believe X?” but “What is the logic or rationale supporting belief in X and what is the nature of the evidence – if any – that supports belief in X”.

That may seem trivially obvious, but I am going to claim – based solely upon my own intuitions – that most of what most people believe about contentious issues is determined not by their knowledge of, and reflection upon, relevant evidence, but instead is based upon their understanding of what “most people like them” believe. If someone identifies as a liberal democrat, that person is likely to decide that whatever most liberal democrats believe is what they believe, and if MAGA folks hold a particular belief or attitude, then someone who identifies as a political progressive is likely to adopt an opposing belief or attitude.

Even very smart people tend to operate this way. To wit – the reactions to claims that (now former) Harvard President Claudine Gay had engaged in plagiarism. In a tweet about the situation, Aaron Silberman noted that “Randall Kennedy, a Harvard Law School professor, told the New York Times that the plagiarism charges were ginned up by "professional vilifiers" and "bad faith" actors” and therefore were not to be given credence.“ Kennedy may have been correct about what motivated those who first brought the allegations to the public’s attention, but to decide whether to believe the allegations based upon the character of those exposing the evidence rather than upon the quality of the evidence itself is ... not really very smart, and a clear violation of RG’s Razor. As Stephanie Ruhl noted on her MSNBC show last night (Jan. 2), it can be true both that some bad faith actors have been after Claudine Gay AND that she did, in fact, engage in repeated plagiarism. Thank you Stephanie!

I would be remiss, of course, to not mention that basing one’s attitudes and beliefs on logic and evidence, even when that results in some beliefs and attitudes that are different from the ones typically held by most people in one’s social group, is not a great way to achieve popularity. It is not fun, and does not engender affection from others, to frequently be the one who disagrees with the apparent group consensus on an issue, and who is known to begin comments by saying “Well, actually ....”. And in fact, one of the time-honored techniques that groups use to assess and enforce loyalty to the group is by demanding that group members express a belief in something that is patently untrue. If you want to be loyal MAGA and maintain your MAGA friendships, it helps to express a belief that the Jan. 6 attack on the capital was not an insurrection but instead was little more than a lot of tourists taking advantage of the moment to take a free tour of parts of the capital not usually open to the public. And if you want to maintain your progressive creds, and want to keep your progressive friends, it helps to support the idea that there are not two sexes. C’est la vie as they say.

4. There is a need for women-only spaces, for a number of reasons, including the fact that at least some people with penises are pigs.

My grandchildren live in three different locations, each a 4 - 8 hour drive from where I live. My wife and I visit them frequently, and as a result, we use public bathrooms occasionally. And when we each emerge from our respective sex’s rest room at a rest stop or gas station, my first thought is almost always – thank god my wife didn’t have to see how disgusting most men’s rest rooms are. In the discussions of the need for women-only spaces, most of the focus is on issues of safety. I can’t recall, however, much discussion of the fact that some men are apparently incapable of making sure their urine ends up only within the bounds of the porcelain that is there for that purpose. C’mon guys. We are blessed with the biological capacity to AIM. How can some of you miss such a large target?

5. Thomas Sowell is REALLY smart.

And he has an extraordinary ability to capture important truths in brief statements. I think his most well-known quote is: “There are no solutions, only trade-offs.” I wish I could figure out a way to combine that saying with some version of the law of unintended consequences – but I’m not that smart.